S07E09 - Singleness, Loneliness & Purity - Real Talk with Onjalai Brown - Part 3
## Navigating Singleness, Loneliness & Purity: Real Talk with Onjalai Brown
Hey friend! Welcome to part three of our deep dive into navigating singleness, loneliness, and purity. Today, I'm having some real talk with my friend, Onjalai Brown. Before we dive in, please note that some of the content we're discussing might not be suitable for young ears. This conversation picks up with Onjalai answering a question I asked in the previous episode: Does she still have physical temptations? And if she does, how does she overcome them?
Awareness and Handling Temptations
Onjalai starts by affirming that physical temptations are very real for her, especially during times of loneliness, stress, or anxiety. She bluntly states:
"Of course I do. I'm human. There are just moments, especially around the holidays, after a wedding, just whenever loneliness comes in, loneliness is usually one of the first triggers." - Onjalai Brown
Angela comments on how orgasms are often seen as a stress reliever and how sex therapists even suggest it. However, she acknowledges that when she gave into that idea, she felt grieved and realized it did not reflect her beliefs and what she knows God has called her to. She emphasizes the importance of having a plan to deal with these thoughts and temptations.
Practical Steps
Onjalai mentions practical steps she takes to handle these feelings, such as going for a walk, listening to worship music, or reading scripture. She also avoids shows with borderline content and emphasizes the importance of having boundaries and a proactive plan.
Struggles with Dating
Onjalai shares her struggles with dating and the pressure to refrain from physical boundaries:
"The guys that I navigate with are not as willing to be abstinent. Even one gentleman said, 'Well, you're not a virgin anymore. So why does it even matter to you?’’' - Onjalai Brown
She highlights the double standard prevalent in Christian circles, where people preach purity but may not live it out fully in their daily lives. We often hear powerful sermons on Sundays but find contradictions in personal behavior by the same individuals.
Community and Transparency
Sharing experiences with married women about realistic expectations and struggles in their marriages can be very valuable for singles. Inviting singles over for holidays or game nights provides them a glimpse into what a healthy relationship looks like. Onjalai suggests:
"Talk to us about staying up all night because your kids are sick, those times of having fights and still needing to get up and minister and worship." - Onjalai Brown
Keeping these conversations real and transparent can help singles set realistic expectations and understand marriage beyond what social media portrays.
Wisdom for the Single Life
When asked to share wisdom for young women dealing with these temptations, Onjalai encourages them to seek God's kingdom first and not to worry about tomorrow:
"Matthew 6 says, 'Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all his righteousness, and everything else will be added. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has its own troubles.'" - Onjalai Brown
She reminds singles that no season lasts forever and to cling tightly to the Lord during this time of singleness. Singleness is not an expiration date but a season to use what God has given.
Supporting Singles as a Married Woman
I ask Onjalai how married women can best support and pray for their single friends. She offers these suggestions:
Schedule a Day: Invite singles over for tea or lunch to talk about realistic expectations and practical living.
Invite Them Along: Include them in family gatherings or holiday celebrations to show them what a healthy relationship looks like.
Pray for Them: Pray for their patience, Holy Spirit’s comfort, community, and purpose to be revealed.
Closing Thoughts
Onjalai wraps up by encouraging everyone:
"God can use any and everything, and there's nothing that can separate us from His love and His purpose for our lives." - Onjalai Brown
Final Encouragement
Friend, I hope this blog has lit a fire within you and ignited a sense of courage as you embrace your journey in singleness. Until we meet again, this is Apryl Ortiz, daring you to boldly live out the word of God in every area of your life. You got this, home girl. We are rooting for you and love you so much. Peace out, friend!
- Your host, April Ortiz.
Connect with Onjalai:
https://www.facebook.com/onjalai.brown
https://www.instagram.com/onjalady/
https://www.facebook.com/awakenministries.org
https://www.instagram.com/awaken_women_ministries
Connect with Me:
Website : strengthdignitylife.com
Instagram: strengthdignitylife
Facebook: Strength Dignity Life
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