S07E06 - Navigating Old Friendships In Your New Faith Journey
In this episode of the Strength Dignity Live podcast, I dive into the complex issue of handling relationships with old friends and ex-boyfriends after committing to a serious walk with God. Explore whether to engage, evangelize, or evade these influences, and learn from my personal stories and biblical examples, such as Joseph’s experience. Listen as I share personal anecdotes and practical advice on making wise decisions, maintaining boundaries, and prioritizing your new faith. It's all about living a revolutionary life and making a clear stand for Christ.
Navigating Old Friendships in Your New Faith Journey
You’ve just started getting serious about your relationship with God, and suddenly, friends and an old boyfriend from before you knew Christ pop back into your life. They’re probably not the best company to keep, but you have history and a relationship with them. So, do you engage, evangelize, or evade and ghost those guys?
Whatever your answer, you need to have a plan. Friend, that’s the discussion for this episode of the Strength Dignity Live podcast. Hey, do me a favor. If this speaks to you, share it on your social media and don’t forget to rate and write a review. We’re here in Season Seven with the theme of the revolutionary life.
The Bible is filled with examples of men and women who live revolutionary lives. God called them out, and they had the audacity to take Him at His word. As we revisit this theme, let’s add a layer and explore the root meaning of the term: a dramatic change. Even if you’ve never considered yourself someone living a revolutionary life, by definition, you are.
Embracing Your Revolutionary Life
The moment you accepted Christ and surrendered your life, you began a dramatic change. Revolutionary life. If you had a past like mine, full of drugs and all that goes along with that, "dramatic change" perfectly describes your life now. So, you're living your best revolutionary life, and your old crew and that old boyfriend reappear.
Over the years, I’ve counseled many young women living a revolutionary life, and I’m sad to say these B.C. (before Christ) relationships often cause them to fall back into sin. They may not completely walk away from God, but they fall into a cycle of sin because they just don’t know what to do.
Evaluating Old Relationships
If your initial thought is, “Duh, drop those jokers,” you may not have that issue yourself. But you probably have friends who gravitate toward this predicament. In that case, stick with me because the information in this post will be a great resource for your conversations with those friends.
So, let's jump in. You have these old friends who bring out the worst in you. As much as you know they're not the most godly crew you should surround yourself with, you have history. And if you're feeling really spiritual, you're thinking your friends need Jesus, too.
Personal Experience
I get that. Months after I accepted Christ, an old friend texted me to hang out. She offered to pick me up, go to a movie, and chill afterward. I was excited to reconnect with her and evangelize. But as soon as we arrived at the theater, I felt uneasy. The movie was not something I wanted anyone from the church seeing me watch, but I was stuck between spending time with my friend and being a witness. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and never went back in. My friend found me sitting on a bench outside the theater lobby. She asked if I was okay, and I embarrassingly explained that I couldn’t watch the movie.
I felt so upset, not knowing what to say. I was too embarrassed to explain that I felt convicted. At that moment, I wished I had the apostle Paul’s Holy Spirit-infused courage from Romans 1:16:
*“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes.”*
My friend exchanged some very colorful words with me before she stormed back into the movie. Later, she told me we were going to her friend’s house 20 miles up the road. On the drive, I awkwardly tried to share Christ with her, which did not go over well after the movie incident. As we approached the house, she told me the evening’s plan, which included drinking and lots of guys. I immediately demanded to go home, but she wasn’t having it. I ultimately decided to get out of the car and walk home.
Developing a Plan
Looking back, I wish I had a plan to navigate those relationships. In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” So, do you engage, evangelize, or evade and ghost them?
Do You Engage?
Plans with friends usually start with a simple "hi"—whether it's a text, a snap, or a DM. Before you engage, think about who these people are and the influence they have on you. Do you talk differently around them? Do you get easily caught up in gossip? Does the party life look good on them? Remember how you felt afterward. Now think of the peace, joy, and freedom you live in as a result of having Christ in your life. So, should you engage?
Do You Evangelize?
If you get past the initial "hi," this is your chance to share your testimony. Set the tone with your friends about your newfound faith. This doesn’t mean shoving the Bible down their throat, but they need to understand who you are now. Communicate what you’re not willing to compromise. Most girls fail here because they don't take a clear stand for Christ and begin to compromise.
After the movie incident, I became more courageous about telling old friends I was a Christian. Some were excited, others thought I was lying, and still others thought I was stupid and missing out. But I made the right choice. Our friends don’t know our experience with God’s peace, joy, and forgiveness, but we can pray they will someday.
Do You Evade and Ghost Them?
This may sound harsh, especially given your history with these people. But consider Genesis 39 and the story of Joseph. He worked for Potiphar, who had a wife making advances toward him. Joseph refused and kept out of her way. One day, she grabbed him, demanding he sleep with her. Joseph ran away, leaving his cloak behind.
Just like Joseph, I was ready to run home. It was a revolutionary move, particularly if you knew me before Christ. Was it hard? Yes. This was a long-time friend, but Jesus was my new best friend. So, is it okay to ghost them? Yes. If you know they have a negative influence on you, it’s okay to ghost them. You’re not obligated to answer their calls, texts, or messages.
Conclusion
If you’ve read this far and still feel bad about ghosting friends, remember, God does not need you to evangelize them. He can speak for Himself, and there are other Christians out there. Channel your concerns into prayers. You know these friends and how to pray for them. Ask God to send other Christians into their life to share the gospel.
Take God at His word as it reads in 2 Peter 3:9: *“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some count slackness, but is long-suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”*
Start with that verse and pray it over them. That is God’s heart for our friends, and He is faithful to His promise. Now we need to be faithful to ours. Dear friend, I pray that this plan helps you prepare for those old friends and that boyfriend. And I wouldn’t be surprised if they just pop in after this episode. Until then, I pray that the Lord builds up your courage and gives you the boldness to not be ashamed of the gospel as you live this revolutionary life.
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